Sandy - The Overgrown Path

Inspiration You Belong with Me & The Way I Loved You


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    I pushed my way through the over grown brush of the underused path. The wild-vines covered the old cobble-stone path that was well long forgotten. It was a fluke that I had even found it. The path lead to the river, there was an old boat launch there that was old and from the time this part of the lake had turned into a river-channel. This was my spot, of all the places in the world I felt at home here. Nobody was ever there. It was a way to escape from my life.  The path was damp from last nights rain, and I couldn’t resist the smell of nature after a fresh rain. When the sun was rising, it was so beautiful that I wanted to cry.
    My perfect life. I have it all. The boy. The job. The honor-role. The rich parents. And I am friend with everyone.
    I can see the clear blue water now, a haft kilometer down left to go. This is one of the reasons why I could have time to myself. Walking there, feeling like I have done something progressive and then I could just watch the sun rise.
    It felt backwards doing this at sunset but I had missed my morning walk because of the rain. Normally I wouldn’t skip it because of a thunder storm, but with drizzling rain I would have been more annoyed than wet. I am sure the sun set would be just as pretty but, I was a morning person, and a routine person. You didn’t get to where I was without being on a strict routine-everything has its place. 
    The boy, the most wonderful boy in the entire school. He carries my books, gets along with my parents, plays with my little brother when he’s at my house. We make the dream couple. Andrew is all anyone could want in a partner. Except for me. I’m not the type of girl who wants that. I don’t want someone to worship me.
    I want someone who fights with me. I want him to be my best friend, the boy next door, the one. I want him. I can’t breathe when I’m around him. We argue all the time, there is passion and there is love. And his name is Jake
    There’s a hell and than there is when I am with Drew. And there is Jake being with her. It breaks my heart not telling him I love him, and he is the one person I want to tell. And to top it all off, this situation is made all the more frustrating because I am with Drew and he is with her and neither of our relationships is working. 

    And there he is. Live and in person. On my quite path, in the middle of the bush- there he is. “What are you doing here?” I asked but I knew the reason. Or at least I hoped I did.
    “I heard you last night.” He replied. And it shooked me.
    “Last night?” I asked, not knowing what he meant.
    “It was raining, so you slept with your window open like you always do. There was a patch of time where the rain stopped-and my window was open too-and you talk in your sleep.”
    “Oh God.” was all I could say, “What did I say?”
    “You didn’t say much, a word here and there. But it seemed like you woke up for a moment, and it was like you were praying.”
    I know the prayer he’s talking about. I say it so much that, I am not shocked I said it in my sleep:

God, let me get through this day,
Let me hold my breath until he comes
Don’t let me see him act like he’s in love
Don’t make me act like I’m in love,
Make the pain go away, I’ve loved him for so long,
I don’t need to see that he is unhappy,
to know that he’s better with me
Don’t make me watch it.
Dear God,
The other one is perfect,
Why isn’t he perfect for me
If he’s already mine, why do I want the
Ones who’s not. 

    “Jake.” Was all I could say.
    “I love you Natalee. I don’t know why I’ve never told you, your my best friend. I can’t lose you. Don’t you see? I wouldn’t be happy without you in my life.”
    “You’re not happy with her! Don’t tell me you are! I know you too well to I can tell when your lying. I can tell when your happy and when your not, and it kills me! I’m not happy with him. It kills me that we are so unhappy.”  I blurted out without thinking. I instantly regretted it
    “Thats why I called her this morning, and broke up with her, she wasn’t happy that I woke her up for that.” He said while looking at the ground and shuffling the dirt at his feet into a pile.
    “You what?” I looked at him surprised.
    “Nat, I’ve loved you all my life, you are the girl next door, I know when your lying, I know when your happy, I know when your trying to hold your breath because you are counting the seconds until something better happens,” I was holding my breath now wasn’t I? “Like you are right now, and this isn’t one of those times where something bad is going to happen. It’s the time where I’m telling you I love you, and we should be happy together.”
    “Your giving me what I want, thats not what I want. I want you too love me, to argue with me! I don’t want easy, I have easy.” I all but screamed.  
    “I promise you I will argue with you, on everything, hell I’m arguing with you now! You love me, I love you, We’ve been fighting this for so long! Just quit it!” He snapped stepping towards me.
    And then he kissed me. And that was it. I was gone, I had waited for this for so long, I needed this more than anything. But in that moment of bliss that held me together. I remembered Andrew.
    I tore us apart. “I’m not single.”
    “Huh?” he asked sounding confused.
    “You broke up with your girlfriend this morning. I didn’t.” I rushed.
    “Shit.” He breathed.
    “I can’t do this to Drew. I have to go. I’ll meet you at school. After I . . .” I turned away.
    “Yea, I will be holding my breath.” He held my hand as I stared to walk out of the bush.
     I turned back to him. I looked into his face, “I love you.” I said.
    “I love you too.” He smiled.
    And even though I was about to break a perfect man’s heart, I was going to be with the man who I had passion for, and that was something I could hold on to forever.